Tom Cruise: The Spirit of Migraine
I was glancing at my Mom’s Star magazine (not that I would buy one, of course) and noticed that Tom Cruise’s wife Katie Holmes got the cover story for collapsing somewhere with a migraine. Apperantly, she is “cracking under the strain of life with Tom Cruise”.
Which got me to thinking — could Tom Cruise be the embodied spirit of migraine disease?
Hear Me Out
In some ancient beliefs, various sicknesses and pains were caused by spirits of the disease that randomly attacked when they felt like it (It’s a spirit thing — we’re not meant to understand). These spirits had to be appeased, exorcised or somehow dealt with before the patient could get better. Shamans often had to go into the spirit world in order to interceded with these spirits.
Maybe one day one got tired of living in the spirit world and decided to manifest itself in the fleash in order to better spread his powers and keep away from meddling shamans?
Tom Crusie was born in 1962. His first movie appearence was in 1981, with his first leading role in Risky Business (1983). From 1979 - 1990, there have been a rise of migraine diagnosed patients of a whopping 56%, with two thirds of them being women, especially between the ages of 10 - 49 (the ages most suspecbtable to the disturbing influence of Tom Cruise).
Rosie O’Donnell is a longtime fan, and she has a lot of health problems including depression (at least).
And science does not know the exact cause of migraine.
All a coincidence? I think not.
So, all of this time we’re doing clinical studies with chemicals and MRI scans and herbs and guided meditations and what we really should do is get rid of Tom Cruise.
And if that doesn’t work to cure migraines once and for all, no big loss.
Back to some real news and advice on dealing with headaches tomorrow — same headache time, same headache station.
April 7th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Haha… I’m totally up for getting rid of Tom Cruise! Who knew the solution for migraines was so simple!!!
April 7th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Funny, funny stuff. And not just because I love to hate on Tom Cruise.
April 10th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Hey now it’s not fair to make me laugh so hard when my head hurts! (I know, I know, you were temporarily possessed by Tom Cruise.)
- Megan
April 11th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
[...] I can remember to shoot that Tom Crusie post over before midnight tonight (if I forget, then I can blame Tom. In fact, if YOU forget, you can also blame Tom. I mean, what CAN’T you blame on Tom? [...]
April 17th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
[...] were a TON of selections this month (blame Tom Cruise) and here are the ones I gravitated to the [...]
May 12th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
[...] it can be reassurring to blame someone else for your misery. I personally prefer to blame Tom Cruise for my migraines. And yet, I have no impending litigation against the [...]