The Great Cricket Headache
/cricket-large.jpg)
As I type this, I am currently suffering from what I call “The Great Cricket Headache”. As far as I know, there is no official medical term that matches this — but there should be! This is the headache you get after having a cricket in your bedroom go CRICKET all night long.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not anti-cricket. I think crickets have just as much right to live in America as anyone else. I think crickets should be paid an equal wage for doing an equal job as any other American insect. But having one in my bedroom is making me think of committing cricket-a-cide.
I used to live in the South West of England back when there was a Concorde flying back and forth over our heads. That sonic boom was not half as bad as this darn cricket in my bedroom. At least a sonic boom goes away.
The Pathetic Cricket Hunt
Two nights ago, my dog cornered the cricket on her bed. I scooped it up with a plastic cup and set it free outside. By this time, I had been awake for an hour and a half so I thought, “Well, it’s four-thirty in the morning — I’m only going to get up in another four hours, anyway.” So I gave the dog a walk and reorganized the basement.
Last night, about one in the morning, I’m sleeping, the dog is sleeping and then
CRICKET!
Apparantly, this is a different cricket. Either that, or the cricket I turned out last night was the Harry Potter of crickets and this time came back under an invisibility cloak. I tore the room apart and couldn’t find the critter even though I could distinctly hear CRICKET coming at me tauntingly.
I can’t use insect killing sprays for two reasons — one, they might get my dog sick and two, they DEFINATELY get me sick. In comparing the levels of misery, I fear vomiting more than I do CRICKET.
So I did the only thing a sensible human being would do.
That’s right — I slept on the couch.
Meanwhile, my dog was snoring away all of this time. This is the same dog that slept through both Guy Fawlks’ Night and Fourth of July night in the same year. Two rounds of exploding holidays on both sides of the Atlantic, and she couldn’t be bothered. The cricket meant nothing to her. I call, “Pony! Get the buggy!” and Pony looks at me and says, “You want the buggy — YOU get the buggy.”
So I’ve been sleep-deprived for two nights. Wonder if the third time will be the charm? Boy, am I looking forward to going deaf!
October 1st, 2007 at 12:25 pm
[...] Great Cricket Headache, Part Two by Rena Sherwood Yes,that cricket is still in my bedroom. I’ve torn furniture apart trying to kill the bugger, but so far it has always eluded me. The [...]
October 2nd, 2007 at 2:26 pm
[...] Deprivation Headache by Rena Sherwood My experiences with a cricket this week left me with a killer sleep deprivation headache, which got me to thinking about sleep depreivation [...]
October 12th, 2007 at 11:50 am
[...] head off at unpredictable times. The gorier details of these confrontations are chronicled here. I can’t use any kind of bug spray because the smell always makes me nauseous. So [...]
February 22nd, 2009 at 12:32 pm
[...] and now it seems to have spread to my right ear. It causes a dull ache, but not bad enough to keep me awake at night. And of course, this kind of stuff always has to happen on a weekend when my doctor is [...]