Dealing With Headaches

The Associated Press and CNN have reported on the rise in survivalists and Americans learning to farm vegeatbles, slaughter their own chickens and stockpile canned goods. In one sense, this is good planning. The future does look a tad bit bleak, what with skyrocketing food, fuel and health care costs and no corresponding rise in wages. Anyone can be forgiven to thik the days of the Revolution — or at least, a really funky riot with a lot of explosions — are soon to come.

Which got me to thinking — will migrainuers have more migraines or less migraines after Armageddon is over?

I Vote Less

I actually have been a survivalist by necessity and not by choice when I was homeless in England. I wasn’t a proper survivialist — I still used stores whenever I had money and begged what I could when I didn’t — but I still lived in the woods in a home I built myself. I used a converted iron stove to heat the place and also had an outdoor fire pit. So I know a little bit about what I speak.

I truly think that many migrainuers will have LESS migraines after then end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine). (In case you’re wondering why the REM clip is there below, now you do). I think this will happen even with the lack of access to modern medicines (even my beloved Excedrin Migraine).

We’ll feel so much better because of two reasons:

1) We won’t have any choice
2) A lot of the things that stress us out will be gone

Let Me Explain

When we say “we won’t have any choice”, I’m not implying that migraineurs choose to have migraines. 99.9% of the time, we don’t. However, our bodies seem to choose to go into rebellion mode whenever we run into the chipper and shredders of life like paying for health care costs, not getting a raise and having to deal with the evil dark shadow on civilization that is Tom Cruise.

We also might sleep better and get to shoot and eat the 1% of the super rich who thrive off the misery of the rest of us. My head feels better already just from thinking about it.

But until then, viva drugs. Sleep tight, kids.