Dealing With Headaches

Oh, I know what you’re thinking. “She just can’t shut up about how she hates horse racing, can she?” I wouldn’t be doing a “Part 2″ to Friday’s Kentucky Derby Headache if horse racing was banned. So there are now three good reasons to ban horse racing:

• It’s cruel to the horses by encouraging breeding of horses that can’t even support their own weight, let alone that of a rider
• It’s cruel to families of compulsive gamblers
• It makes me go off on rants. Ban horse racng and I’ll shut up

So, in other words, I had a bad headache all weekend. First, I tried to avoid hearing about the Derby, but my Dad still thinks I’m a horse racing fan. Horse fan, yes — horse racing fan, no. We go out for breakfast every Saturday morning (my parents are divorced). “Who do you like in the Derby?” he asks.

“Dad, I stopped watching horse racing in 1999. I got tired of seeing dead horses.”

“I like Big Brown.”

I rolled my eyes. Oh, hell, what’s the use? “There’s a filly in the Derby named after an N.C. Wyeth painting.” (And I only knew that because my Mom had to inform me of this over breakfast a couple of days ago. I’m starting to think that having breakfast with my either of parents is a cause of headaches.)

Well, that was the kiss of death for that poor filly, now, wasn’t it? I couldn’t get away from the Derby and there it was all over the television national news, the Internet and the Philadelphia Inquirer. I’m sure it’s no surprise by now that a horse died during the race. This is the first time that a horse has died during or immediately after the Kentucky Derby. It’s been the only race major stakes race to not have a casualty until Saturday.

The Pain

The actual headache that happened I’m guessing was due to stress and depression. It lifted very late last night. I handled it badly — basically, numbing myself with junk food, Nyquil and Animal Planet. The pain itself wasn’t so bad, but I felt a crushing weight on my entire body. It was if it suddenly took all the strength I could posess just to walk up the stairs to the bathroom.

I’m trying not to look at anything having to do with race horses, but I do have to work, which requires me going online, which always throws the headlines out at me. I do have clinical depression, and one of the physical symptoms is headaches. However, I’m also blessed with having migraines, which makes me prone to have all kinds of other head pains.

And yes, I know I shouldn’t take things so seriously. Consiously, I don’t. But my subconscious does and rails at the injustice of it all (whatever cause it takes up at the time), which contributes to headaches and not sleeping, which can contribute to more headaches. As U2 sang, “It’s no secret that a conscious can sometimes be a pest.”

Anyway, how can I do any good for any animal or taking care of my family when I am sick with headaches because of the damn Kentucky Derby?

The Point

If you know somebody who doesn’t understand the pain, depression and downright confusion that can arise when a series of headaches or migraines hit, show them this post. It will give some idea of what you’re going through (although the event that sets you off is most likely not the Kentucky Derby).

Crossing my fingers that I’ll get my headaches under controll and write a more coherent post tomorrow. God, Goddess and Peter Gabriel bless you for taking the time out of your life for reading this.