Dealing With Headaches

You have very few friends when you have a lot of migraines. However, this is not necessarily a bad thing. The friends you do manage to have tend to prove themselves to be a lot more honest and have a better sense of humor than most fair weather friends. Those are the people friends. Animal friends don’t seem to ever take it personally when you get a migraine attack. They simply blink and get on with their lives. But people friends….well, people friends suck, for the most part.

They Don’t Believe You

I’ve lost of what I first assumed were my friends when the migraines hit. I had to suddenly back out of a lot of plans because I couldn’t stand up, much less go out and party. After the first couple of times, the accusations start, my favorite being:

“If you don’t want to be friends, just say so.”

Migraine attacks often don’t look like anything is happening to you to people who never have migraines. Not unless you’re throwing up, but that seems to happen only a fraction of the time when you are clobbered by a migraine attack, and never at a convienient time to show that you’re telling the truth.

One time I was started by an ex-friend who thought I was doing drugs whenever I said I had a migraine. People tend to think the worst. It’s a survival mechanism, but it’s also damn annoying.

I have had two freinds who were epilieptics. They had no trouble with my migraines. Gee — I wonder why? Perhaps they went through some of the same things. The one friend I had in England who was cursed with unpredictable Grand Mal seizures was often accussed of either being drunk or high on drugs when he was having seizures.

What To Do

If your friends feel somehow threatened by your migraines, get new friends. Now, you could be lucky enough to have a non-migrainuer friend who asks you “What’s is like?” and then listens to your reply. Now, that friend has a good chance of really wanting to be your friend. You’ll soon know deep inside why someone wants to be your friend. If they are annoyed about you having migraines or tell you that “it’s all psychological”, then they want something of yours — but not your company. You’re better off without these people.

Another option is to get a dog, cat or even goldfish. I’m not joking. Pets can help lower your blood pressure, help you relax and always are appreciative of your company (well — mostly appreciative of your company). Just their calm presence can help you have the confidence to try and talk with other people instead of becoming a total recluse. And if you don’t know what to talk about, talk about the pets.

Be A Friend To Yourself

This is one of those saying that used to drive me nuts because it sounded to New Age-y. But , even more annoyingly, it works. You have to enjoy your own company before anyone else can stand enjoying your company. Also, enjoying time by yourself takes away a lot of pressure of being alone, which can certainly aggravate a migraine.

There are also migraine support groups that meet online if you want to communicate with someone who knows what you are going through.

Hope this helps.