Dealing With Headaches

Where you go where you die is often referred to as “The Other Side”. It’s a very PC term for your favorite after-death party house. Personally, I call it The Summerland, but even I forget to call it that half the time. Whatever your spirituality calls it, are there migraines in that dimension of existence?

The Evidence

According to many holy texts, psychics and those who have experienced near death experinces, there are a lot of things on Earth that are not avilable on The Other Side. Two of these are food and bathrooms. Suppossedly, you don’t need to eat on The Other Side, but I really doubt this. Knowing human beings, we will eat whether we have digestive organs or not. And that food has to go somewhere.

Also, you don’t have to sleep on The Other Side because it’s always day or twilight and never night. I don’t like that. If I don;t get proper sleep, I’m certain to get a migraine. If no one sleeps, then there aren’t any comfortable places to sleep. Some spiritualities claim that we live in the clouds. I don’t trust sleeping on clouds. Quite frankly, I don’t trust doing much of anything on clouds. They’re so changeable. You can never depend on them. Besides, I really don’t know clouds at all.

In Conclusion

In reading all of this evidence, I have come to the conclusion that there are, indeed, migraines in the afterlife. On The Other Side, there is no place to sleep, no food to digest properly and no bathrooms. These can all lead to major migraine triggers. No wonder we reincarnate so often instead of just flitting about in paradise for the rest of eternity. We need the bathroom, something to eat and a lie down. Alll in all, migraineurs seem to have it better here on this side of eternity.

Nothing’s ever easy, is it?

This isn’t the best YouTube clip in the world, but it does have a certain amount of charm and is (probably) unintentionally quite funny. I’m not a big fan of the slide-show style of YouTube clips, but in this case, it works. “Home Remedies for Migraine Headaches” pairs some stock photography and cute clip art with some easy-to-read information on folk remedies for migraines. I don’t know what the music is playing behind it, but sadly, it cuts off. It sounds a bit like Deep Forest.

This was posted by YouHerbal.com (which sounds a little like name-calling — “Hey, you! You herbal, you!”) which is a site that sells (ta da) herbal and food-related remedies for various ailments, as well as a lot of bottles of capsules. Keep in mind that just because something is natural, doesn’t mean that it’s good for you. You can get side effects from herbal remedies just as you can with prescription medicines. And never slam back an herbal remedy without talking to your doctor first. (However, aromatherapy you can tinker with without a doctor’s supervision.)

Also, as an English major, I couldn’t help but notice some capitalization and grammatical errors. If that gives you a headache, then you’d best skip this clip and check out one of my older posts on folk remedies for headaches. Otherwise, enjoy!

I first heard about ear candling through James’ Headache & Migraine News Blog. I thought he was joking. You know , in the same way the some people consider NASCAR a sport and Paris Hilton a celebrity. Sooner or later, someone is going to pop out and say, “Decades-long-April Fool! Ha!” Then, my life would make that much more sense.

Welcome to the Real World

Unfortunately, James wasn’t kidding and my own Dad became a NASCAR fan. Although I have had to bitterly accept the latter, part of me still holds out hope that ear-candling is the world’s biggest online hoax. However, I had a client ask me if I was intersted in writing a series of How To articles on ear candling to treat vertigo and sinus headaches. I had to say no, but was astounded that the request was serious.

I’m Not Against CAM Therapies, But

I do happen to be proponent of complimentary and alternative therapies, especailly those I have tried myself. However, I can’t get behind ear candling. Now, how do you tell if a CAM therapy is probably a bunch of crap and better left alone?

• You stick something inside of your body and then SET IT ON FIRE
• You are given a scare tactic that you have poisons inside of your body that need to come out. Unless you just chugged cobra venom, you really don’t have much to worry about. These poisions are usually just called “toxins” and are rarely, if ever, given specific names.
• You’re told it’s a Native American tradition and all the Native Americans you know are asked about ear candling, reply with, “Say WHAT?”
• You stick something inside of your body and then SET IT ON FIRE. I realized I’ve repeated myself there, but it can’t be stressed enough — fire and your body do not mix.

Hope this helps.

Hello, Gentle Readers. My apologies for the absence of the last two weeks. This was due to the technical problems on the part of 451 Press, the network this blog is on. Having blogs go up and down like yo-yos is part of the nature of the beast we call Blogging For Pay. So, if you were thinking that perhaps a new blogger was needed for Dealing With Headache, forget it.

Dealing with Downed Web Sites

I’ve had quite a lot of physical and metaphorical headaches trying to get things worked out. In case you ever get into a situation where you feel your server/network/web whatever has abandoned you, here are a few tips:

• Email the advertising department of the site, network or ISP. It doesn’t matter if you have a tech problem, just bring it to the attention of advertising and magically your email will be forwarded to the correct pair of eyeballs.
• Be a bitch, no matter what your gender. Although it’s no fun being a bitch, sometimes it’s the only way to get things done.
• Give yourself a certain time frame to freak about your dead website and then THAT’S IT. Fifteen minutes is generally good enough. It’s not the sky falling in huge bloody chunks, here — it’s just a website (even if it does mean that your income will drop substantiably for a while). Stress is good only up to a point, and then it becomes really unhealthy. Also, the stress can make you prone to shopping online and watching celebrity gossip television shows.
• Keep taking the medicine.
• Complain, complian, complain (self explanatory).
• Eat ice cream. Okay, that’s not the most practical of advice and it won’t get your website back up, but it works for me and makes you feel as if you are doing domething productive. Just dont eat it fast enough to get ice cream headache.

How’s the Head, Rena?

My head hasn’t been that brilliant, but I have just started taking yet another high blood pressure medication called verapamil, which I affectionately call velociraptor (hense the image at the top). More on verapamil in a future blog post — especially when I have a good idea of what it does to me. Right now, your bet is as good as mine.

Also, I have to burn the midnight oil in trying to write enough blog posts in order to make my monthly quota. This will be a good time for any fans of this blog … whoever you may be. Let’s see how many spelling errors slips by me in my blog this week! I would offer a prize for the person who finds the most spelling errors for this week, but then again, I’m not that great with spelling to begin with, so I probably wouldn’t know how to judge.

Onwards! And, since this is a blog, upwards!

It’s interesting what pops up when you enter “migraine” into the search bar at YouTube. Granted, there’s an awful lot of crap, but sometimes you come across a little gem that you would have discovered in no other fashion. I’ll admit up front, this clip doesn’t have anything to do with treating migraines…well, maybe it does. It does suggest that people who break your heart are the cause of migraines. Having them get run over by a bus is perhaps an alternative migraine treatment.

The song is called “Migraine” although I don’t think it actually pops up in the song lyrics. The band is Moonstar 88 from the Phillipines. The music is not traditional world music kind of stuff, but very hip and very smooth. It just happens to be sung in Phillipino by a woman with a lovely voice, Machelle Baay. (I hope I got that name right — the official website for the band is down, so don’t take my credit listing as Gospel, here).

The video uses a mixture of Phillipino and English, which is how some Phillipinos talk (from what I’ve been told. One day, I might actually get to travel to the Phillipines.) You really don’t need to translate the lyrics to understand what the video is about. Enjoy!

WARNING: There is a brief strobe effect in the beginning of the clip.

Right up front, let me say that if you don’t like yourself swearing, then don’t worry about it. Do whatever you have to to help yourself through migraine pain. But there are those of us who find swearing a great relief when we are in great physical pain.

Your Thoughts Affect Your Health

I am aware that, to some extent, your thoughts greatly affect your physical health. When you think or shout swear words, you tend to work yourself up into becoming even more tense, with your heart pounding harder. However, that might happen to you. The opposite tends to happen for me. I let out a good string of profanity and I suddenly can heave a tremendous sigh of relief. Granted, this only happens when I am in physical pain. Otherwise, swearing gets me even more upset than I was before.

Think Good Thoughts

I’m all for alternative healing. I think there is an amazingly string mind-body connection that has a potential not yet fully explored. However, I can’t jive with the “think happy thoughts” approach to migraine pain management. This is especially prominant in EFT, where you are encouraged to repeat, “Although I have this migraine, I fully accept myself.”

I’m not able to do that when in the grips of a migraine, like the one I had on Wednesday. It came out more like “I am a $(^&%HB:ing person and I HATE this ^$@@*&^$%ing migrane!!!” The paint peeled off of the walls. On seeing that, even my dog knew to leave me alone.

And it helped. Of course, the Zolmig sample, curling up into a feotal position and being able to lie down also probably helped, too. But I never would have been able to lie down if I didn’t swear so much I could’ve fried an egg with my words.

This approach isn’t for everyone, granted. But if swearing helps you when you are in the grips of pain, it sounds wonderful.

I had a migraine this morning, so I could only begin work this afternoon, hours behind schedule. I was behind another hour because my computer wouldn’t get onto the Internet. It kept that little hourglass thingy going and a white screen as if to say, “Talk to the browser.” I finally just shut the computer down and rebooted. Now, it finally works.

Which gets me to thinking — do computers get migraines, too?

Stay With Me On This One

My computer acted very much like I did this morning — I had many false starts and wound up blinking inchoherently at the day. And then the pain hit suddenly (even though I already know I get migraines, the acutal intensity and suddenness of the pain still takes me by surprise). Because of the pain, and sounds and light becoming intolerable, I had to say, “Screw this” and go back to bed.

By 1pm, I was fine. Perhaps I needed rebooting.

Anyway, the similarities are too much of a coincidence.

Could My Computer Have Caught Migraines From Me?

Not that migraines are contagious, but that when you are not feeling your best, you can make some mistakes as to what buttons to push and when. My computer is about ten years old, so it’s a bit on the slow side, anyway. I’m used to that — usually. When it’s slow, I do filing, read a book, pick my nose, that sort of thing.

However, when I’m getting over a migraine, I’m a wee bit grumpy. My dog stays away from me. I’m more impatient and could perceive that the computer is “acting up” when, in fact, it’s acting the same way it always does.

The moral of the story? When it comes to migraines, sometimes everything around a migraineur needs a reboot.

Although my pets can greatly help comfort me when I’m in pain, occassionally they are the cause of me being in pain in the first place. I currently am battling sleep deprivation headache because of my pets. Sometimes I think they act really scary once in a while to let me know how much I should appreciate it when they behave.

Either that, or it’s just a reminder at who’s really calling the shots.

Two in the morning and I can’t sleep because on one side of me the dog is snoring and the othe side the goldfish are attacking the tank lid. I’m not entirely sure why they attack the lid at two in the morning. Perhaps they are trying to eat the patches of algae I can’t reach to clean. Perhaps they have algae rage. Who knows.

Now, I can’t have the dog not sleep in the same room with me. That’s out of the question. This is because she chases my nightmares away. I’ve had nightmares since the womb and it’s great to be able to forget even the most disturbing dream because the dog is acting goofy.

And I can’t just tell the goldfish to sleep on the couch. The weight of the tank would break all of the springs, for one thing.

And I can’t sleep on the couch with the dog because that way I would hear my Mom snoring. I love my Mom and she is a saint on earth, but one of the reasons I sleep in the basement is because that’s the only room in the house where her snoring won’t wake you up.

Even though I’m loosing my hearing and can’t understand what people are saying most of the time I can still hear snores and goldfish algae rage as clear as a bell. What’s up with that? I’ve got a feeling when I go completely deaf (which will probably coincide with the day Peter Gabriel finally releases a new album) I will still be able to hear snores, car alarms and lawn mowers.

So, What Have We Learned?

The good thing about when the pets eake me up at night is that I can scream bloody murder at them and they don’t take it personally. In fact, they don’t pay attention to it at all.

The second thing I’ve learned is that the best way to deal with sleep derivation headache is to have a glass of water, a cup of tea and then write a long blog post complaining about your sleep deprivation headache. Sure, my head still hurts, but my conscious feels so much better.

Off to down some more Excedrin…

The American Medical Association grew a bigger set of balls when it released a report blasting one of its main sources of revenue — the health insurance industry. Even brain surgeons are complaining that health insurance forms are too complex (see — it’s not just you!) They also report that it’s taking doctors 14% of their salaries just to try and get the money owed to them from health insurance companies.

What’s Up, Doc?

This report blasts the industry as a whole and not just one particular health insurance company, although the AMA did give a sobering diagnosis to some of the nation’s most prominant health insurance companies. This is the number based on how often the particular company did not argue with the doctor when he or she wanted to be paid:

• United Health Care: 62%
• Aetna 71%
• Medicare 98%

Wow. Do you mean doctors may actually be concerned with getting their patients better without bankrupting them? Stranger things have happened.

A Case Study

I remember back when I worked at Macy’s and got a concussion on the job from a Macy’s fixture (don’t ask). Macy’s called an ambulance to take me to the closest emergency room. After waiting ten hours, I finally got examined.

A year later, long after I quit Macy’s, I was still getting reminders about the bill. I just forwarded them to Macy’s, which, to its credit, paid up and I wound up not having to pay anything. But this was over a year of back and forth letters, print outs, postage, yadayadayada between the Macy’s and their health insurance company.

And this is considered normal in this country. And we wonder why our health care industry is so screwed up? Going to voodoo healers makes more sense because insurance forms aren’t involved. You walk in, get some bones shaken at you, given a potion or two, you pay up front and then when you walk out and get on with your life.

Thank you, AMA, for actually giving a damn. And I think bodypaint and grassskirts would look great on you lot.

Oh, for Pete’s sake. Was it a slow news day in the non-profit community or what? We have war, famine, the ecological crisis, natural disasters like Paris Hilton and all the Center for Enviornmantal Health and Justice (CHEJ) can point the middle finger at is PVC shower curtains. On Friday June 13, CHEJ put out an a press release that calls PVC shower curtains toxic. I’ve been dying to get my mits wrapped around this press release, but first 451 Press went down and then my Internet went down. So, stand back, this has been brewing all damn weekend.

Anyway

Granted, new shower curtains suck. They have that new shower curtain smell which I’ve noted has never been duplicated in a line of perfume or as a special aromatherapy candle scent. Strong smells can certainly trigger bad headaches.

CHEJ (which I assume is pronounced either “cheese” or “chez”) claim that new shower smell can kill you…eventually. This is because, in 28 days since the bag is opened, the PVC released 108 different VOCs (volitale organic compunds) which are generally bad news and do every bad thing you have ever imagined (including headaches) and things that only Stephen King could imagine.

However, your shower water also releases VOCs. Are you going to stop taking a shower? And, quite frankly, how much time DO you spend in the bathroom?

Should We Ban Shower Curtains?

Great, that’s all we need — a black market for new shower curtains. “Psst, lady — you lookin’ for a new shower curtain? I got florals, tropicals and pastels.”

First we can’t feed ourselves right and they have a trans fat ban. Then, we can’t ride in a moving vehicle right and have to strap our kids into incredibly expensive car seats. Now, they’re trying to get us in the shower. Hey, there’s naked people in here — go get your bans somewhere else!

Folks, how STUPID do we have to be that we need a ban or a warning label on common household items? (Don’t answer that). If you know the new shower curtain is gonna stink, open it up and stick it in a room where no one spends a lot time in (like a basement or attic) and let it air out. Either that, or stick it outside for a couple of days. THEN install it in the bathroom.

Imagine a world without new shower curtains. Remember, folks, extinct is forever. Save the new shower curtains!

Ahhh…I feel so much better now. Was it good for you, too?

The Associated Press and CNN have reported on the rise in survivalists and Americans learning to farm vegeatbles, slaughter their own chickens and stockpile canned goods. In one sense, this is good planning. The future does look a tad bit bleak, what with skyrocketing food, fuel and health care costs and no corresponding rise in wages. Anyone can be forgiven to thik the days of the Revolution — or at least, a really funky riot with a lot of explosions — are soon to come.

Which got me to thinking — will migrainuers have more migraines or less migraines after Armageddon is over?

I Vote Less

I actually have been a survivalist by necessity and not by choice when I was homeless in England. I wasn’t a proper survivialist — I still used stores whenever I had money and begged what I could when I didn’t — but I still lived in the woods in a home I built myself. I used a converted iron stove to heat the place and also had an outdoor fire pit. So I know a little bit about what I speak.

I truly think that many migrainuers will have LESS migraines after then end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine). (In case you’re wondering why the REM clip is there below, now you do). I think this will happen even with the lack of access to modern medicines (even my beloved Excedrin Migraine).

We’ll feel so much better because of two reasons:

1) We won’t have any choice
2) A lot of the things that stress us out will be gone

Let Me Explain

When we say “we won’t have any choice”, I’m not implying that migraineurs choose to have migraines. 99.9% of the time, we don’t. However, our bodies seem to choose to go into rebellion mode whenever we run into the chipper and shredders of life like paying for health care costs, not getting a raise and having to deal with the evil dark shadow on civilization that is Tom Cruise.

We also might sleep better and get to shoot and eat the 1% of the super rich who thrive off the misery of the rest of us. My head feels better already just from thinking about it.

But until then, viva drugs. Sleep tight, kids.

Mine went crap, thanks. I became more aware of my headaches this week than I have in the past month. My apologies for the smaller than usual number of blog posts this week. If 451 Press wasn’t down, then I was. Perhaps 451 Press or Word Press or the server gets migraines, too. I had some real beauties this week.

Keep a Headache Journal

I think I’m going to have to start keeping a headache journal again. I thought I was done with that crap years ago when I lived in England and decided, one fine Boxing Day, to do an experiment. I had a suspiscion that lack of caffeine was giving me the migraines. So, I stopped ingesting any caffeinated product cold turkey.

Not something I recommend.

I’ve been assured by authors, anti-caffeine activists (which I’m sure exist on some corner of the web) and everyday people that the migraine goes away after four days. A mere four days. Of course, in migraine-time, four days is the equivelent of one year in real life time.

I’ve cut back on my caffeine intake to about six cups of black tea a day. So, why did I get such blinding headaches this week? That’s the six and a half dollar question.

Theories

One of the theories I have about why I get so many headaches and migraines is that it’s other peoples’s fault. Somehow, their stupid thoughts float through the air like so much ozone and infect all of us who happen to have at least one thought in our heads. And the originators of the thoughts don’t get headaches or migraines because their brains never can hang onto an idea. Those painful thoughts just slip away into the atmosphere.

I also couldn’t help but notice that, except for a few internet sites, not one thing has popped up in the local or national media about National Headache Awareness Week. Way to go, guys. Then again, you did pick a bad week, what with natural disasters, NBA finals and that Presidential election bugaboo.

So I had a great National Headache Awareness Week. I even was too ill to send a submission in to the June Headache and Migraine Blog Carnival, darn it!

And people wonder why I get migraines.

I’m a freelance writer, and so I have a stack of rejection slips so thick I could paper the house with them. Although there is a company that turns rejection slips into toilet paper that I’m looking into. But I got the most mind-boggling rejection slip of my life so far yesterday.

This Ties In With Migraines, Trust Me

I’m currently trying to sell a speculative fiction short story about an incredibly beautiful Arabian-mix mare who also happens to need to feast on human flesh. (Well, no horse is perfect, right?) And, yes, I did send a specualtive fiction short story to a publication that published speculative fiction short stories. But this was the reason the editor rejected my story:

“It seems unlikely to me that a carnivorous horse would look anything like an Arabian.”

That just blew my head off. I didn’t realize the editor knew of a herd of carnivorous horses to make her basis of comparison. Silly me. I just used my imagination (and the legend of the eigth labor of Hercules, where he had to tame flesh-eating horses).

At first, I thought (hoped) she was being funny, but later on in the letter I realized she was being serious. Perhaps she wanted to sound like she was authority in the matter of the body shape of flesh eating equines. However, she failed to describe the suitable physical structure that a carnivorous horse should have.

That’s when the migraine started. This was worse than criticism headache. At least there’s usually some sort of reason grounded on the planet earth in order to receive criticism.

And, as a bonus, she took the time to correct “a few typos” and then send me back my corrected manuscript. By the way, she had two typos in her rejection letter to me. I’m starting to wonder if I would have a lot less migraines if there were a lot less people in the world.

So, please, everyone, enlighten this obviously ignorant freelance writer and tell me — what does a carnivorous horse look like?

It comes around so quickly, doesn’t it? And now we’re caught buying National Headache Awareness Week presents and have to listen to National Headache Awareness Week carols…

It’s June 1-7

Well, I suppose we don’t really have any carols or presents to give during National Headache Awareness Week. I wonder what celebrations and traditions should we do this week?

I know — if we meet anyone who says, “A headache isn’t so bad,” we smack them over the head will a ball-peen hammer. This will definately make them more aware of headaches in the nation.

My Health Insurance Company Hasn’t Forgotten

I know my health insurance company is celebrating National Headache Awarenwss Week by sending me information to drive me around the bend. Today, my mail was graced with a thick package about my prescription drug plan. this included a list of drugs approved to be covered by the health insurance company. It was entitled, logically, enough, “Approved Drug List”.

But then they also sent me an equally long list entitled “Non-Approved Drug List”.

Why?

I have two college degrees. Perhaps they know this and think that I’m too much of genuis to have any common sense left in my head (perhaps if I did, I wouldn’t get headaches). If I can’t find the name of the drug on the “Approved Drug List”, doesn’t it stand to reason that if it’s not on the list, it probably hasn’t been approved?

How many trees had to die to make up the “Non Approved Drug List”? And how much extra postage did it take to ship the “Non Approved Drug List”? I want to know, because I’m the one paying for the tree killing and the extra postage. I thought I’d be paying for doctor visits and Prozac, but how naive could I be?

And people wonder why I get migraines.

Off to bang my head against the keyboard now. That way it will hurt a lot less.

Two weeks ago, I had the first bloodwork tests done on me since the age of the dinsosaurs. This is to help diagnose what might be causing me migraines, constant fatigue, attraction to the wrong kind of men, that sort of thing. I got the bill a couple of days ago –$215 damn dollars.

But It’s A Bargain

Now, keep in mind I’m already paying through the nose for my medical insurance. (And I’m not really sure I want to know the origins of the expression “paying through the nose“.) In order to have the priviledge of getting a $215 bill for blood tests, this is what I have to pay:

• $250 per month for the insurance policy premium
• $15 per prescription (roughly $30 per month)
• $25 co-pay for every doctor visit ( I had two)

So, last month, I already paid $330 to my health insurance vampires. But yet, this doesn’t include the blood tests (even though I’ve already paid enough to cover them).

When the bill came, it claimed that the costs of the blood tests were $900 and that my health insurance company graciously paid for the balance.

Oh, come on. I bet you the cost of the blood tests were $215. They’re just saying it’s $900 trying to make me feel better. Retail stores do this all the time — jack up the original price and THEN mark it 20% off.

Does anybody check out these things? I guess we’re too busy watching American Idol and banning trans-fats to bother.

Happy National Headache Week

In related news, June 1-7 is National Headache Week. This is what happens after you pay your blood money. Instead of getting reasonable costs for healthcare, you get a logo and a national week. No wonder the headache will last a whole week.