Dealing With Headaches

Oh, joy. Sitting in a doctor’s waiting room hearing “Benny and the Jets” over and over again, staring at the same pile of magazines that was there two years ago and wondering if the stain on the wall just moved. This is a great time for doctor’s office waiting games. Enjoy!

Guess Who’s Contagious

The big problem with doctor’s office waiting rooms is that a lot of sick people truck in and out and you don’t know what they have. Well, with this game you can guess who’s contagious. The winners win a chance of not dying. Losers wind up getting hooked to IVs and being rolled around on hospital gurneys. There are no rules to this game. You let your instinct take over. Cheaters actually write down the names of patients and check the obituary section of the local paper for the next few weeks.

Toss The Offensive Literature

Despite the best efforts of nurses and office staff, many pieces of offensive literature are slipped into the magazine piles or into the magazines themselves. These can include anything from anti-birth control crap to pro-Nazi crap (and its hard to tell the differnce, sometimes.) The office staff and nurses have so much to worry about already. Do them a favor and don’t complain to them. Just throw the crap out. Extra points if you can get it into a covered wastebasket.

The gist of the game is to do this when nobody is looking. You don’t know if that guy hawking and spitting into a hanky in the corner was the fella who put the offensive metrail there in the first place.

Good luck!

I finally got to see Dr. Fountain-of-Youth-Face about the strange yet painless lump on my back rib. Fortunatley, it’s not on my rib. It’s in my skin. The diagnosis was a sebaceous cyst (also called epidermoid cysts). There was a fun little explanation to go with that.

WARNING: The Following is Kinda Gross

One of the doo-hickeys that secretes normal body oil is clogged up for some reason. But the sebaceous gland is still producing oil at a normal rate, even though it can’t get onto the skin where it belongs. So, it’s producing a backwash (his term) under the skin, which is generally harmless.

And then he added, “The body oil turns into stuff that looks like the white filling in cheesecake.”

What is it with doctors and comparing body problems to food? First, I got turned off of raisins for life after getting my first ear-cleaning due to psoriasis narrowing my ear canals, and now I’m right off cheesecake. Not that I can afford cheesecake, anyway, but that’s not the point.

So, What Happens Now?

The doctor gave me two options about what to do about my cheesecake cyst. First was to leave it alone and bother with it only if it starts bothering me. Second, to get it surgically removed in possibly an out-paitent procedure. Guess which option I chose?

That’s right — I voted for the first option. Now, what could happen if I left it alone? There are four possibilities:

• The lump will go away on it’s own
• The lump will turn into a boil and need lancing to remove cheesecake-like filing
• I’ll have the lump all of my life and will die with it (which will make my corpse more easy to identify)
• It’ll get infected and then I’ll need it surgically removed.

Isn’t going to the doctor fun?

Granted, kneeling over the toilet and buckled over with pain, you are feeling anything BUT appreciative your ability to regurgitate. Vomiting is a complex process that not all creatures can do. In case you’ve ever wondered if there’s anything worse than nausea and vomiting, it’s not having the ability to vomit.

Colic

Horses and ponies, for example, can’t vomit. They can drool or foam at the mouth which may seem a bit like vomit, but it’s not. When horses eat somethign they shouldn’t, there’s only one way the offensive material can come out — and not by the mouth.

This can lead to a common and potentially lethal condition known as colic. This is far more dangerous than what cranky human babies get. Being over-full or having an intestinal blockage can shut off blood supply to parts of the intestine — which then die. No critter can live too long with dead guts inside of them. The only way to save the horse (if dead intestine is the case) is by emergency surgery.

Scrubs You Clean

Other problems horses get because they can’t vomit is that if they get a bacterial infection, they can’t toss up mucus or any of the bad bacteria. It pretty much has to go all the way through the digestive system in order to get out.

So, regurgitation is quite an efficient means to promptly remove from the stomach anything that shouldn’t be in it. COnsidering that people do not instinctively know what is not so good to put in their mouths, this is a good thing.

Otherwise, perhaps horses would now be riding us. Which, come to think of it, may not be such a bad thing.

Pardon me by going slightly off topic today, but at least it does deal with health in general, which can certainly affect how often I’ll get headaches and migraines in the future. As you can probably tell from the title, I’ve found a strange firm lump on my body. At first I thought it was a blind pimple, but it ain’t poppin’ so I’m going to have to get it checked out.

Where Is It?
It’s on my back, seems to be on a rib, about where a bra strap would go. I haven’t worn a bra in ages because (quite frankly) what’s the point?

I had Mom look at it and all she said was, “That’s no blind pimple.” It kinda reminded me of that line from Jaws : “This was no boating accident!”

Family Health History

I come from two families that for some reason like to grow weird lumps, keloids and skin tabs on various parts of the bodies. I wonder if it has to do with hormones or age or just crappy genes. It could be that I inheretied this lump gene and now it’s going for broke.

Unfortunately, no other lump-growers in the family have had a lump on their back rib. Hey, I’m an original!

Could It Be Cancer?

I can’t help but think the worst about a weird lump. Not that cancer is a big party, but if I did discover that it was cancer, there’s not a whole heck of a lot I can do about it. That’s because of my health insurance rates. They’ve gone up this month and I’m sure they would cover cancer meds or tests.

And you always find out these things on a weekend when the doctor’s office is closed. Sod’s law.

Natasha Richardson, award-winning actress wife of famed Schindler’s List star Liam Neeson, died at the age of 45 from a head injury received in a skiing accident where she did not wear a helmet.

Although the official cause of death hasn’t been released, speculation is that her initial concussion caused a lot more damage than initially suspected. This highlights the importance of getting your head checked out after it gets clonked, even if you feel fine. The pain and problems start an hour or even a day after the initial clonk on the head.

Clonks On The Head That Need Checking Out

Granted, going to the emergency room (A & E for those in the UK) is no party. It’s a long, boring, nerve-wracking time that can last for a day sitting under bright lights and uncomfortable chairs, surrounded by sick people. But, it can save your life.

Suspiscious clonks on the head that need checking out include:

• Anything that happened on the workplace. At least your employer will pay for the ememrgency room care.
• Banging your head into a metal or wood shelf
• Any time you become unconscious
• Getting kicked in the head by a horse (trust me on this one. I didn’t get my head checked after a mare reared up and clonked me with her forehoof and it’s a wonder I’m still alive.)
• Sports concussions, helmet or no helmet
• Falling on concrete
• Falling out of a tree — even if you wore a helmet
• Anytime it takes you longer than three minutes to decide if you should go to the emergency room. If you’re unsure — go.

And Rememeber

It is safe to take a nap when you have a concussion. Just do it in the emergency room.

I had my first ear cleaning this week and I’m still trying to recover from the barely perceptable trauma. I am now obsessed with what is in my ears and if it could be contributing to headaches. Just what is living in my ears?

For this week’s YouTube clip, I originally wanted to place the scene in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan about Khan’s pets, which love to crawl into human ears, but that’s not on YouTube (or was considered breech of copyright). Well, it’s a pretty gory scene, so perhaps it’s not for the squeamish.

But at least that was fictional. I can handle fictional.

Have you ever wondered what a doctor or nurse sees when they stick those little sonci screwdriver-type devices in your ears? I always thought they didn’t see anything — they just stuck them in, made some noises and you felt better about parting with the bill.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that not only has someone filmed what a doctor sees inside of someone’s ears, but posted it on YouTube. WARNING: Not for the squeamish.

Now, if you do want to clean your ears, please don’t shove a cotton swab in your ears. That could break off. You could place two or three drops of hydrogen peroxide in your ear and place a small cotton ball in there and keep in it overnight or as long as you can possibly stand it.

However, you may not need an ear cleaning. I never needed one until I got psoriasis in my ears. Now I could make candles. See your doctor first before you do anything to your ears.

Off to recover.

So, I’ve come back with an appointment with my primary care physician, Dr. Fountain-of-Youth-Face. Ususally, these are really brief, under a half hour. Today, was a little longer because I mentioned to my doctor that my psoriasis had spread to my ears.

This caused him to take that little ear doo-hickey out and look in my ears.

You Know It’s Bad When…

There are some things you never want to hear your doctor say during your appointment. Perhaps the “c” word is the worst (I mean “cancer”, of course) but this comes a close second. Whenever the doctor is peering through a bodily orifice you can’t see, you NEVER want to hear him gasp and say:

“Oh…Gawd…”

He then advised me to have an immediate earwax cleaning, which his office assistant would be happy to provide right that second. I said yes. I figure if any doctor is willing to do something immediately, it must be bad.

As it turns out, the psoriasis in my ear went down into my ear canal. This caused a heck of a lot of irritation in the walls of the ear canal. He called it “like an irritation in the oyster” only I didn’t have pearls in my ears. These pearls may be one reason why I’ve been having what I assumed were sinus headaches (although they would not affect the migraines).

The Cleaning

I got ice-cold oil that looked suspisciously like Peto-Bismal dripped into my ears. Then, I had to wait 15 minutes shuffling through pages of WebMD hoping my brain wouldn’t explode. Then, it came time to squirt warm water into both of my ears.

Something popped out. “Wow,” she said, “That was a big one.”

My curiosity got the better of me. I asked to see it. Big mistake.

I looked down and saw a nearly black fuzzy cosmetic cotton ball sized glop that closely resembled a drowned bumble bee. How the heck could that have FIT? As my eyes widened, the nurse smiled and said, “We call them ear raisins.”

I will never be able to eat raisins again as long as I live.

I have dental phobia, which gives me a dentalwork headache and quite a lot of other symptoms. I have a really good dentist, but going to the dentist drives me round the twist. I have to go with someone else because, quite frankly, I need them do drag me through the door.

But still I make dental appointments — although I need someone else to make the appintment and tell me when it is.

The Problem With Dental Appointments

The big problem with dental appointments is that you know in advance that they’re coming up. Now, usually this is considered an advantage, because you can orgaize your day around the dental appointment, but if you’re dental phobic, the appointment becomes a your date and time of execution.

And so, you start doing things in order to try to get your mind off the fact that you’re going to the damn dentist. This can entail not sleeping properly, which means you may find yourself where I was late last night, dreading the prospect of an afternoon date with destiny in the dental chair.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

So, it’s about 11 pm and I still can’t get to sleep because sleeping would make the day of the dental appointment come that much closer. I go to make a nice relaxing cup of Tension Tamer tea and accidentally make a mondo caffineated tea. Well, it seems like such a shame to waste, so I drink it.

And then I think about my teeth. Knowing my luck, they’ll need immediate work and I won;t be able to eat anythign for days without pain.

So — I should eat as much as possible now in case I can’t eat for the next few days. I had three iced oatmeal cookies, a Philly soft pretzel with mustard and untold number of chips and slasa.

And then spent the rest of the night miserable with nausea. So, if you have a dental appointment coming up, for God’s sake, don’t do what I did.

On Wednesday, March 4, 2009, the Supreme Court of the United States rules in favor of the case of migraineur and musician Diana Levine, who had to have her arm amputated because the anti-nausea drug Phenegen was administered incorrectly during a migraine attack that required a visit to a local health clinic. She won a $6 million lawsuit against Wyeth from the State of Vermont, but Wyeth appealed.

Wyeth claimed that since their drug’s label had been approved by the FDA, then federal laws trumps Vermont state law, so there, nyaah-nyaah!

The Ruling

And now the Supreme Court has told Wyeth to shut up and pay up. (No, they didn’t use those exact words — I’m exaggerating just a tad bit here in my excitement. This is a blog, remember.) Anyway, Wyeth now has to fork over $6.7 million, (which is probably less than the cost of one television drug ad campaign).

Woot

The Supreme Court voted 6 -3 in favor of Ms. Levine, who received the original injection way back in April 2000. Justice Paul Stevens stated:

“Wyeth has not persuaded us that failure-to-warn claims like Levine’s obstruct the federal regulation of drug labeling. Congress has repeatedly declined to pre-empt state law, and the FDA’s recently adopted position that state tort suits interfere with its statutory mandate is entitled to no weight.”

Prior to a 2002 President W ruling (I’m still trying to find out which one), anyone could sue a drugmaker on a “failure to warn” basis in state court and have a pretty good chance of winning. That was another legal leg Ms. Levine’s lawyers had to stand on.

Off to celebrate.

Those of you living in the Ann Arbor area and suffer from new daily persistent headache, rejoice. The Michigan Head*Pain and Neurological Institute (MHNI) is proud as punch to add to their staff Dr. Henry Hooker, the founder and director of The Headache Center at East Tennessee Medical Group in Alkoa, Tennesse (which also has a sleep disorder center of note.)

Dr. Hooker (no relation to TJ Hooker) is a specialist in new daily persistent headache . He recieved his degree from the Medical College of Pennsylvania and completed his residency at Pennsylvania Hospital/The Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. (Go PA boys! Whoo-hoo!)

Quoting MHNI’s Press Release

He was voted “Best of Knoxville” in a poll of physicians in Knoxville Magazine, and has been featured in several publications. He is a member of the International Headache Society, American Headache Society and the American Academy of Neurology.

What IS NDPH?

So, what is new daily persistant headache? It is not to be confused with migraines, as there aren’t any auras or sensitivity to light and sound. The pain is usually on both sides of the head. New daily persistent headache (NDPH)is similar to tension headache that rarely goes away for at least three months. It can last for years. It often pops up in someone who isn’t headache or migraine prone.

This also isn’t to be confused with daily morning headaches or rebound headaches.

One of the ways NDPH is diagnosed is to rule out there is any injury or spinal problem that could be causing the pain. Luckily, MIHN has access to a lot of diagnosistc tests to be sure the pain isn’t from a virus, an old, forgotten injury or anything else.

Good luck to Dr. Hooker and all of his new patients.

I know I just wrote a post about hangovers on New Year’s, but this time I’ll try to write one about self-treatment for a hangover without trying to sound so smug (because I’m a teetotaler.) I haven’t tried this treatment myself, so I can’t vouch for it. Hope it helps.

Keep Head Cool

Preferably, you want to lay down in a quiet room when you have a hangover. You can then put on a wet towel or a cold pack on your forehead. You can even just wet the front of your hair if you can’t manage the coordination it takes to get a wet towel or cold pack together.

Keep Limbs Warm

Putting on two pairs of socks, gloves if necessary and comfy but warm clothing can also help your body fight the hangover misery. I’m only getting this recommendation second-hand, so I don’t personally know if it works. But the few times I did have a hangover in my wacky college days I did feel like I had a fever. Perhaps a hangover is kind of like a fever.

Lemon Water

If you can’t drink anything else, just have some water. Part of the reason you feel crappy is because you are dehydrated. But some people have reported being helped by adding to a large glass of water:

• The juice of half a fresh lemon
• A pinch of salt
• A teaspoon of molasses, dark maple syrup or honey
• A pinch of cayenne pepper (although this ingredient is optional)

Coffee or colas are not recommended to drink while you have a hangover. If you get caffeine withdrawal migraines, however, drink just one cup of coffee or a few swallows of cola and then drink water or the above lemon mixture.

Two years ago, my Mom almost died from Staph-A contracted from a dirty needle at a doctor’s private office. Thankfully, she was saved by an emergency crew at a hospital where the evil doctor does not work. Lawyers have told us that it will be impossible to prosecute this doctor because it would be impossible to prove the needle was dirty. (Long story).

Anyway, if you are entering a hospital or or at a doctor’s office getting blood tests for whatever reason, you need to speak up when you know the medical people working on you are screwing up. They are not perfect and you are just one of a thousand patients they will see that day. Scream bloody murder should any of the following happens:

• The nurse/doctor will not wash their hands
• The nurse/doctor drops a needle on the floor and picks it up to use it on you anyway
• The nurse/doctor does not clean the injection site prior to injecting you
• The nurse/doctor calls you by the wrong name
• The nurse/doctor is about to give you a new medication you are allergic to. Never assume they know what drugs you are allergic to. If you are conscious, you must have them tell you what drugs they are about to give you

This clip was made by the New Jersey chapter of AARP and focuses on a surgical error, but it can work for just about any other state or country. Doctors and pharmacists do not have to report any errors they perform, even years later when the error is confirmed. So, until some laws change, you have to look out for yourself when in a doctor’s office or hospital.

In what’s now being called the “Day of Reckoning” speech (or even the “Dropping out of high school is no longer an option” speech), last night President Barack Obama thundered for health care reform plans by the end of 2009. Although these faux-State of the Union speeches are marred by continual cheesy standing ovations, both of America’s major political parties got to their feet for this one.

What Was Good

As Presidential speeches go, this one was a corker. It was great to hear promises to close Guantanamo Bay, commit to fighting climate change and repeal the tax cuts for the wealthiest 2% of the nation. It was also great to hear someone at the podium proving that they have a brain in their heads instead of dollar signs. It was also a relief that he didn’t dwell on the historical occassion of the speech or racism but just went right on into talking about.

And, of course, it was great to hear that he wanted health care reform plans to put into action by the end of 2009.

What Was Bad

18,000 Americans die each year due to lack of health care. An American goes bankrupt every minute because of health care costs. I didn’t hear any definate details on how health care will be changed. And I didn’t hear any condemnation of health insurance companies or Big Pharma that charge such outrageous prices even though it leads to suffering and death.

An easy way to pay for universal health care would be to put price caps on CEO salaries, ban televison drug advertising and caps on drug costs. Well, let’s see what happens. Yet another year of crossing my fingers.

I’m going to be honest and beg the blogosphere for information of psoriasis and earache. I have psoriasis and now it seems to have spread to my right ear. It causes a dull ache, but not bad enough to keep me awake at night. And of course, this kind of stuff always has to happen on a weekend when my doctor is off.

(Hey — it’s an ache in the head — it counts as a topic for this blog.)

What Is Psoriasis

Psoriasis is one of those conditions that I think was described as afflicting sinners in the first layer of Hell in Dante’s Inferno. It’s like itchy skin dandruff, only worse. It’s considered a problem of the body’s immune system. Most people who get psoriasis also wind up getting psoriatric arthritis.

Psoriasis can often be managed with creams, ointments, ultraviolet light therapies or medication. Some people find relief avoiding certain foods, sodas or alchoholic beverages, which can trigger outbreaks. One of the reasons I stopped eating red meat is that it seems to be a psoriasis trigger for me.

Also, treatments for eczema don’t work for psoriasis, althugh they can certainly soothe the itching.

Earache

According to the National Psoriasis Foundation, an outbreak of psoriasis can happen a few weeks after an ear infection. However, I can’t find anything about psoriasis covering an ear. and causing an ache. I’m assuming the ear ache I have is caused by psoriasis — I’m just guessing here.

This happen to anyone else? I’m thinking of putting the cream I use for my neck and eyebrows, but I don’t want to risk making it worse. Thanks in advance.

I think they probably get a lot of headaches in Bangledesh and not just because of the flooding or poverty. Before I comment further, here’s the YouTube clip and no, I don’t know who filmed this. Perhaps if someone sends this clip to Ellen DeGeneres, her magic elves can find out for us: