Dealing With Headaches

Fish around the world did not heave a sigh of relief when they learned that Brazillian Emerson de Oliveira Abreu has sworn off fishing. The fish never really have much to fear from Abreu, because he managed to spear himself in the head.

“I Wonder What Would Happen If I Shot My Own Head?”

Abreu was not a fisherman content to just sit in a boat and hold a pole in one hand and a beer in the other. Oh, no. He actually got into the water and chased his prey with a deep sea fishing spear gun that fires six inch spears.

Abreu claims that during his fateful watery outing, the spear richoched off of a rock and propelled into his head just above his left eye. The spear dug in so deeply that almost all of the six inches of spear lodged itself into his head.

Since there are no witnesses (or else they are still too busy laughing to contradict Abreu), all we can assume is that Abreu is telling the truth. (Quite frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a sad outcome to a drinking game gone awry.)

MSNBC reports that initial reports that a friend shot Abreu are false. (Of course. What kind of a freind would shot you in the head with a speargun? A real friend would use a bullet to make sure you’re dead.)

Frantic Surgery

Non-American press can be very snide about medical facilities outside of the country, but in an incredible feat of five hour sugery, doctors removed the spear and Abreu is mostly fine. The spear did not hit any major brain areas.

Well … he’s as fine as you can be after a spear went into your head.

Oh, joy. Sitting in a doctor’s waiting room hearing “Benny and the Jets” over and over again, staring at the same pile of magazines that was there two years ago and wondering if the stain on the wall just moved. This is a great time for doctor’s office waiting games. Enjoy!

Guess Who’s Contagious

The big problem with doctor’s office waiting rooms is that a lot of sick people truck in and out and you don’t know what they have. Well, with this game you can guess who’s contagious. The winners win a chance of not dying. Losers wind up getting hooked to IVs and being rolled around on hospital gurneys. There are no rules to this game. You let your instinct take over. Cheaters actually write down the names of patients and check the obituary section of the local paper for the next few weeks.

Toss The Offensive Literature

Despite the best efforts of nurses and office staff, many pieces of offensive literature are slipped into the magazine piles or into the magazines themselves. These can include anything from anti-birth control crap to pro-Nazi crap (and its hard to tell the differnce, sometimes.) The office staff and nurses have so much to worry about already. Do them a favor and don’t complain to them. Just throw the crap out. Extra points if you can get it into a covered wastebasket.

The gist of the game is to do this when nobody is looking. You don’t know if that guy hawking and spitting into a hanky in the corner was the fella who put the offensive metrail there in the first place.

Good luck!

The good news is that when I was at the doctor’s last week, I managed to get a hold of a box of Treximet samples. The bad news is that I managed to get a hold of a box of Treximet samples. Although it sounded at first like I’d struck gold getting the sample box, things turned south mighty fast when I opened the box and saw the packaging the Treximet is in.

Yet Another Reason to Hate GSK

Treximet is made by GlaxoSmithKlien (nee: SmithKline Beecham). I have family who used to work at GSK and that’s one reason why I hate Big Phrama so much — because I got to see firsthand how they waste money in order to justify jacking up prices.

Case in point — the Treximet sample cases. I don’t know for sure if the Marquis deSade has any decnedants, but if he does, this has got to be the person who designed this prurple plastic torture device.

What’s So Bad About It?

I’m glad you asked. Just imagine yourself with a migraine — you’re shaking, you can barely see because the slightest bit of light feels like staring into the heart of the sun and you are this < --> close to throwing up.

But AHH, you have the Treximet. Hope, for one shining moment, gleams with the promise of a rainbow after a storm.

And then you try to open the case.

First off, you have to squeeze the sides. Not just any sides — two specific places on the sides. If you’re off by a millimeter, you’re screwed. Then, after you’re squeezing, the case is suppossed to pop open. Except it only pops open a centimeter. You then have to pry a hyperdermic needle (or something similar) under the ridge and push up.

Needless to say, I have had a migraine since getting the Treximet and I could not actually get to the Treximet because I could not open the freaking case.

I hate you, GSK.

I finally got to see Dr. Fountain-of-Youth-Face about the strange yet painless lump on my back rib. Fortunatley, it’s not on my rib. It’s in my skin. The diagnosis was a sebaceous cyst (also called epidermoid cysts). There was a fun little explanation to go with that.

WARNING: The Following is Kinda Gross

One of the doo-hickeys that secretes normal body oil is clogged up for some reason. But the sebaceous gland is still producing oil at a normal rate, even though it can’t get onto the skin where it belongs. So, it’s producing a backwash (his term) under the skin, which is generally harmless.

And then he added, “The body oil turns into stuff that looks like the white filling in cheesecake.”

What is it with doctors and comparing body problems to food? First, I got turned off of raisins for life after getting my first ear-cleaning due to psoriasis narrowing my ear canals, and now I’m right off cheesecake. Not that I can afford cheesecake, anyway, but that’s not the point.

So, What Happens Now?

The doctor gave me two options about what to do about my cheesecake cyst. First was to leave it alone and bother with it only if it starts bothering me. Second, to get it surgically removed in possibly an out-paitent procedure. Guess which option I chose?

That’s right — I voted for the first option. Now, what could happen if I left it alone? There are four possibilities:

• The lump will go away on it’s own
• The lump will turn into a boil and need lancing to remove cheesecake-like filing
• I’ll have the lump all of my life and will die with it (which will make my corpse more easy to identify)
• It’ll get infected and then I’ll need it surgically removed.

Isn’t going to the doctor fun?

Ever envied guinea pigs? Lord knows I have. Well, you may not have the fuzzy fur or the little pink lips or the jellybean-like physique, but you can play the metaphorical guinea pig in helping out with a Phase Two clincial trial for a new migraine drug made by Big Pharma giant Eli Lilly.

Say Hello to LY2590443

This will be the usual double blind study, so nobody knows what drug you get. The choices could be the mystery new drug, sumatriptan, a placebo pill or a placebo injection. I do not know if this new migraine drug will be in a pill form or an injectable form.

You need to be between the ages of 18 - 65 and have been diagnosed with migraines and get from between 2 - 8 migraines a month. You need to have had migraines (with or without aura) for at least one year. All sexes are welcome.

For more information about joining the cinical study, call 1-877-CTLILLY or 1-317-615-4559.

Don’t Apply If

Eli Lilly has listed some exclusions that can keep you from becoming a human guinea pig. These include:

• Being a drug addict or alcoholic
• Being pregnant
• Recently donating blood of 500ml or more
• Suffering from a “major psychiatric disease” (I do not know if depression would be included in that category).
• Being otherwise unhealthy or having some sort of chronic medical condition

The study also prefers people fluent in English and are willing to keep a diary about their experinces with the new migraine drug. There are several medical centers participating in the clinical trial all over America.

And the best part is that this time around there are no actual guinea pigs being used.

Granted, kneeling over the toilet and buckled over with pain, you are feeling anything BUT appreciative your ability to regurgitate. Vomiting is a complex process that not all creatures can do. In case you’ve ever wondered if there’s anything worse than nausea and vomiting, it’s not having the ability to vomit.

Colic

Horses and ponies, for example, can’t vomit. They can drool or foam at the mouth which may seem a bit like vomit, but it’s not. When horses eat somethign they shouldn’t, there’s only one way the offensive material can come out — and not by the mouth.

This can lead to a common and potentially lethal condition known as colic. This is far more dangerous than what cranky human babies get. Being over-full or having an intestinal blockage can shut off blood supply to parts of the intestine — which then die. No critter can live too long with dead guts inside of them. The only way to save the horse (if dead intestine is the case) is by emergency surgery.

Scrubs You Clean

Other problems horses get because they can’t vomit is that if they get a bacterial infection, they can’t toss up mucus or any of the bad bacteria. It pretty much has to go all the way through the digestive system in order to get out.

So, regurgitation is quite an efficient means to promptly remove from the stomach anything that shouldn’t be in it. COnsidering that people do not instinctively know what is not so good to put in their mouths, this is a good thing.

Otherwise, perhaps horses would now be riding us. Which, come to think of it, may not be such a bad thing.

Nausea sucks. It’s actually better to throw up rather than just be nauseated because you feel as if you are accomplishing something. Nausea is misery in unlimited potential. But you are not completely at nausea’s mercy. You can do some things to ease the pain.

Deep Breathing

This is inhaling for three seconds, holding it and exhaling for three seconds. If you can only do two seconds or one second, fine. Do wahat you can. This works in three ways:

• Deep breathing helps bring in oxygen which can help you calm down
• Deep breathign can help your muscles relax
• If all esle fails, one really deep breath will cause you to throw up and feel better

Herbal Tea

This is my favorite way of dealing with mild nausea, even from a concussion. It doesn’t work too well with stomach flu. It sometimes works for me with nausea from migraines, sometimes not. It’s best if you can get someone else to make the tea, but making the tea can give you something else to concentrate on other than your misery.

Flavors recommended are peppermint, mint blends, chamomile or ginger. (Next best thing to ginger tea is ginger ale). Parsely tea is supposed to help, too, but I’ve never tried it.

Aromatherapy

Some smells can trigger your subsconscious to relax muscles. For me, aromatherapy works best on nausea caused by motion sickness or migraines. You can just sniff the bottle, a few drops on a tissue or massage blended poils on your temples. Only lavender is gentle enough to be used full strength.

Good scents to try and relax to include lavender, peppermint, majoram and rosemary.

Hope this helps.

Pardon me by going slightly off topic today, but at least it does deal with health in general, which can certainly affect how often I’ll get headaches and migraines in the future. As you can probably tell from the title, I’ve found a strange firm lump on my body. At first I thought it was a blind pimple, but it ain’t poppin’ so I’m going to have to get it checked out.

Where Is It?
It’s on my back, seems to be on a rib, about where a bra strap would go. I haven’t worn a bra in ages because (quite frankly) what’s the point?

I had Mom look at it and all she said was, “That’s no blind pimple.” It kinda reminded me of that line from Jaws : “This was no boating accident!”

Family Health History

I come from two families that for some reason like to grow weird lumps, keloids and skin tabs on various parts of the bodies. I wonder if it has to do with hormones or age or just crappy genes. It could be that I inheretied this lump gene and now it’s going for broke.

Unfortunately, no other lump-growers in the family have had a lump on their back rib. Hey, I’m an original!

Could It Be Cancer?

I can’t help but think the worst about a weird lump. Not that cancer is a big party, but if I did discover that it was cancer, there’s not a whole heck of a lot I can do about it. That’s because of my health insurance rates. They’ve gone up this month and I’m sure they would cover cancer meds or tests.

And you always find out these things on a weekend when the doctor’s office is closed. Sod’s law.

From the “Things Could Be A Lot Worse” Department:

YouTube’s fun, isn’t it? You just put in random word combinations into the Search function and hilarity results. Being me, I decided to put in the search phrase “hole in head”. The results included this clip and the NIN hit “Head Like A Hole”.

Warning: BIG WARNING: I’M NOT KIDDING THIS MEANS YOU WARNING:

This clip is really gross. Even for those of us who are big Stephen King fans, who merrily eat popcorn during the chest-bursting scene in Alien, this will be really hard to watch. However, the man does not seem to be in any pain whatsoever and he’s even joking about it.

So, don’t email me and say the clip was really gross because I’m telling you up front that the clip is really gross. (Let’s see how many folks do that anyway.) Why is it gross? Because the guy has a hole in his head. His eye and part of his cheekbone was completely removed.

I’m afraid I couldn’t find out just why he had to have such a radical surgery. I think it’s because he had cancer, but I’m not sure. Guesses on YouTube comments include a gunshot wound and a place to hide his weed.

Although really gross, it’s also kind of inspiring. The fellow seems to be in good humor and has adapted to a radical chance in his body. Maybe this shows how well the human body can adapt to most any kind of radical chellenge.

That and I really wonder what meds he’s on. I want to ask for them.

Natasha Richardson, award-winning actress wife of famed Schindler’s List star Liam Neeson, died at the age of 45 from a head injury received in a skiing accident where she did not wear a helmet.

Although the official cause of death hasn’t been released, speculation is that her initial concussion caused a lot more damage than initially suspected. This highlights the importance of getting your head checked out after it gets clonked, even if you feel fine. The pain and problems start an hour or even a day after the initial clonk on the head.

Clonks On The Head That Need Checking Out

Granted, going to the emergency room (A & E for those in the UK) is no party. It’s a long, boring, nerve-wracking time that can last for a day sitting under bright lights and uncomfortable chairs, surrounded by sick people. But, it can save your life.

Suspiscious clonks on the head that need checking out include:

• Anything that happened on the workplace. At least your employer will pay for the ememrgency room care.
• Banging your head into a metal or wood shelf
• Any time you become unconscious
• Getting kicked in the head by a horse (trust me on this one. I didn’t get my head checked after a mare reared up and clonked me with her forehoof and it’s a wonder I’m still alive.)
• Sports concussions, helmet or no helmet
• Falling on concrete
• Falling out of a tree — even if you wore a helmet
• Anytime it takes you longer than three minutes to decide if you should go to the emergency room. If you’re unsure — go.

And Rememeber

It is safe to take a nap when you have a concussion. Just do it in the emergency room.

are one of the worst forms of pain that you can experience. They are so bad that your WOULD wish them on your worst enemy. Cluster headaches tend to start about an hour or so after you’ve gone to bed. For some unknown reason, they happen to men more than women. There has been a theory bandering about that sleep apnea may have something to do with cluster headaches.

Please keep in mind that I am not a doctor and this all mostly speculation on my part. (So, what else is new?)

Sleep Apnea

Sleep apnea is when your breath is cut off momentarily when you sleep. If you’ve ever had to sleep in the same house as someone with sleep apnea, you never forget the noise. Sleep apnea can be from malformations, growths or other problems with the throat.

However, it tends to happen in people that are overweight. The weight of the flesh on the neck is enough to choke off air. But most cluster headache patients are concentration-camp thin. This is because most cluster headache patients with sleep apnea have OSA (obstructive sleep apnea).

Studies

A study was done in 2000 on sleep apnea and cluster headaches that appeared in Neurology. Sleep disordered breathing in patients with cluster headache mentioned that 5 in 20 human volunteers had both sleep apnea and cluster headaches. Some of those 5 didn’t even know they had sleep apnea. This could suggest that some cluster headache patients might not realize that they also have sleep apnea.

There is a new paper planning to be published this year written by The Pain Center at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles that backs up the former study.

Hope this helps.

People with migraines or cluster headaches may be perscribed anti-convulsants at one point or another. As their name implies, these are drugs that were originally meant for helping people with epilespy or other conditions that cause seizures. Now, anti-convulsants are prescribed off-label for bipolar disorder, schitzophrenia, Alzheimer’s, obsessive-compulsive disorder, restless leg syndrome, drug addiction rehabilitation and pre-menstrual syndrome.

Common Anti-Convulsant Meds

These can include Stavzor, depakote, gabepentin and the big one — Topamax (topamirate).

Normal Side Effects

These include feeling dopey all of the time, having nightmares and having an increase in appetite. Many people also loose interest in sex. Your blood pressure may go down when on these, so guys — your body may not be able to pump enough blood to Mr. Happy in order to get or maintain an erection. Some people also lose their hair or get thinning hair.

Long-Term Effects

These are a little more serious. For some people, the loss of interest in sex winds up being a long-term side effect instead of a short-term side effect. Same for baldness or thinnng hair and feeling sleepy all of the time.

Perhaps the most common long-term side effect is weight gain. You feel sleepy and your appetite increases, so weight gain is kinda inevitable. You need to be sure you are eating sensibly when on thiese kinds of medications.

But you may not be that hungry, because some anti-convulsants like depakote give chronic heartburn. Yummy.

With some meds like depakote, you may need to take tests to be sure your liver is functioning properlym because the medicine could make your liver very cranky.

For a more complete look at anticonvulsant medications, I recommend taking a look at Crazy Meds.

From the “Yet Another Reason Why Not To Have Kids” Department:

If you are a woman who has migraines (or a man who is a mad scientist experimenting in male pregnancies) really reconsider having a pregnancy. Althugh it’s been known for some time that women with migraines are more at risk of stroke than women without migraines, the time women migraineurs are at most risk of getting a stroke is when they are pregnant.

So Says This Study

Published in British Medical Journal, “Migraines during pregnancy linked to stroke and vascular diseases: US population based case-control study” looked at a mountain of data on pregnant women in the United States in the years 2000 - 2003. After sifting through over 18 million cases recorded in data from various hopitals, researchers came to these conclusions:

• Migraineurs had a “15 fold” increase in having a stroke while pregnant. (I’m still trying to figure out how a “fold” is different from a “percentage”.)
• This comes to about 4 cases of pregnancy-related stroke in 100,000.
• The study notes that it did not look at which condition was diagnosed first — migraines, pregnancy or a vascular condition.
• More studies need to be done. (Surprize.)

What About The Pregnant Man?

The study also didn’t mention women who got sex-change operations but still kept their uteruses, like Thomas Beatie, the fifteen minute wonder pregnant man did. I wonder if that gal-guy gets migraines? Could the sex change have helped any? Would the kid have migraines? And what about Thomas Beatie’s wife? If she didn’t have migraines before, she probably does now.

Moral of the story: Forget having kids. Adopt a pet, instead.

I had my first ear cleaning this week and I’m still trying to recover from the barely perceptable trauma. I am now obsessed with what is in my ears and if it could be contributing to headaches. Just what is living in my ears?

For this week’s YouTube clip, I originally wanted to place the scene in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan about Khan’s pets, which love to crawl into human ears, but that’s not on YouTube (or was considered breech of copyright). Well, it’s a pretty gory scene, so perhaps it’s not for the squeamish.

But at least that was fictional. I can handle fictional.

Have you ever wondered what a doctor or nurse sees when they stick those little sonci screwdriver-type devices in your ears? I always thought they didn’t see anything — they just stuck them in, made some noises and you felt better about parting with the bill.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that not only has someone filmed what a doctor sees inside of someone’s ears, but posted it on YouTube. WARNING: Not for the squeamish.

Now, if you do want to clean your ears, please don’t shove a cotton swab in your ears. That could break off. You could place two or three drops of hydrogen peroxide in your ear and place a small cotton ball in there and keep in it overnight or as long as you can possibly stand it.

However, you may not need an ear cleaning. I never needed one until I got psoriasis in my ears. Now I could make candles. See your doctor first before you do anything to your ears.

Off to recover.

I forgot all about submitting to the March 2009 edition of the Headache and Migraine Blog Carnival. (DUH!) And I get two reminders, as well. I guess I could blame the ear raisins for blocking my memory neurons as well as my ear canals.

This month’s blog topic was admittedly a tough subject to write about this time around — creating a migraine-friendly environment. This means living in a way to keep migraines at a minimum, not inviting them inside your home to party. This is best expressed in Diana Lee’s Coping with a Migraine: My Three Step Approach. (Meds, darken the room, get as comfy as possible).

Other Links

Since I screwed up in forgettting to submit an article to this blog carnival, I thought I’d bounce around the web and find a few hopefully helpful websites about how to best survive a migraine attack. Think of this as March 2009 Headache Blog Carnival, Part 2:

• Living With Migraines: What to Expect is a HubPages testimony of one young migraineur’s struggle with her chronic pain. The article stumbles a bit in the beginning, but smooths out once she gets going. There are some nice tips in side grey boxes. She also can’t use triptans like Imitrex because of the cost (something many migrainuers can identify with).
• Migraine Prevention: Early Success by the ever-reliable Megan Oltman includes a very important tip for all migraineurs — keep your voices down when discussing migraine treatments or the migraine monsters might hear and come get you. These monsters are the offspring of Sod’s Law. Another important tip — don’t skip breakfast or lunch.
• And, for general all around advice about migraines, there’s Migraine Headaches: Ways to Deal with the Pain over at FamilyDoctor.org.

Let’s see if I forget to submit an article for next month’s blog carnival, which won’t have a theme. Darn, now I have too many choices!